When I left teaching, my life drifted for quite a while, not because I couldn't think of something for which to use my time. On the contrary, I could think of dozens of uses for time, but to what purpose. The idea of purpose kept nagging at me. I didn't seem to have any, and the realization ticked me off.
No longer stranded on a foggy, deserted beach, I took up writing again where I’d left off years before. Oh, there were no screenplays or commercials. There was no research for PBS documentaries on spec. I no longer did corporate writing. Instead, I began slowly by learning to write specifically for children.
What does this have to do with alarms, structured lives, and fulfilling one’s life dreams? Everything!
My first desire as a child was to write. I came to a place where my need to fulfill that purpose, held so long within a tiny corner of my being, refused to remain in the shadows. My life was worth more than early retirement, disability, or relaxation.
My writing brought me here, to this new cosmos of cyber energy and virtual reality, completely peopled and conveniently housed. I made an interesting personal discovery the other day; one which I intend to do something about.
I’ve watched my day skewered by bits of life’s battle with time. Errands, email, writing prompts, publication submissions, social media networks, you name it. This goes on each day as I run to catch up. I stopped running today. I took a nap when I was tired.
I got three poems out to, for me, a new market. I singled out a new submission to another market for tomorrow. I didn’t work any further my author’s page. That will happen some other time. I did get two other blog posts done. I didn’t complete a guest post that I need soon.
Yesterday these unfinished items would have nagged with the voice of guilt as I went to bed; today, not so much. I made a decision to stop battling with time. I can do what I can do. That reality is the only one that matters. I don’t have to apologize to anyone for not working 18 hours at my desk each day to complete goals I set for myself. I only have to move the goals to eliminate the guilt.
Each problem has both a solution and an opportunity; a solution to correct the problem or minimize it; an opportunity to take something unexpected from the problem and create a new project, attitude, viewpoint, or blessing.
So much of our day is taken up with the business of others. Some of us choose to take up the business of ourselves and what’s good for us. When we live at the behest of others, we only exist for ourselves. Existence isn’t the same as living. Living takes energy, gives energy, and creates beauty.
Restructuring life takes time and effort, but it pays for itself in the end. Lately, I've had little real time to write as I want to, dreamed about, and planned for. That situation is about to change.
I’ll still blog, but my blogging will have morphed into something new. I’ll be writing more poetry, more guest blogs for other sites, and working far harder on my own books. And I’m looking forward to this new avenue of endeavor.
The world is changing as am I. It’s my hope that each of you will be along for the ride, however long I stay in the saddle. Stay tuned for my announcement of things to come and places to go.
These last 45 days have been a real game changer for me. I keep redefining what I want my life and my writing life to look like. Guilt be gone! Thanks for the new eyes to see this day ahead.ReplyDelete
It's true, Lara. A different driver is behind the wheel now, in so many ways. It's scary, de-stablizing, and exhilarating, all at the same time.ReplyDelete
You're going strong, though. Full steam ahead, my girl. Full steam ahead.
When we take that fork in the road, so much awaits! Best as you realign!ReplyDelete
Thanks, Patricia. Finding new places is always exciting. Trying new things helps stretch mind and spirit. And developing new avenues of pursuit always leads to adventure.Delete
You'll know when I do.
I traveled and traveled until one day I found, almost passed it by, a path leading off into the woods, nearly overgrown with tall blackberry bushes, winding in and around the low pine covered hills. I took this path and I tread it to this day.ReplyDelete
It is in the hills where wild berries grow, I find solace within myself to continue onward upon the path which leads into future. Along the path grow wild roses, sweet with fragrance, bight of color, spotted with dew, a fairy's drink for one in need.Delete
With berries, blossoms, and fairy dew one can feast a day away or make it through a moonlit night watching fireflies among the trees.
But along the way is where I wish to be. There I see a vine covered seat. Sitting there a hunched old woman. I approach to see my dearest friend. Through glistening eyes she looks at me, "Why Jack, I've been sitting here so very long, hoping you would come this way." Her gaze soon drops upon the path and in a quiet voice, "I asked every passerby, many told me of your failure, but there you are a last. What has kept you so very long?"ReplyDelete
"I simply had to find the right path and learn the turnings to this place. It's that last turn that is the hardest to find," I said as I sat down beside her.ReplyDelete
She smiled and leaned into me before she placed a speckled hand on my arm. "I always had faith in you; knew you would come this way at the right time for you. Now that you have, are you happy?"
I looked at her, thinking about the younger women who had passed her lessons so many years before. "What is happiness, my precious friend," I asked, "except the touch of a loved one when most needed?"
I'm glad you've found your way, Claudette. I'm still trying to find mine and fighting the guilt but thanks to your post, tomorrow should be a better day for me!ReplyDelete
Thank you, Allyn. Geez, it's been ages since I last spoke with you. I hope all is well with you.ReplyDelete
Yes, even though I'm as busy as before, I'm getting more things accomplished, and that helps with frustration levels tremendously.
So glad you stopped by, my friend. Take care and God bless. Good luck on your reclaiming your life.